ALONE

I walk alone.
The street lights cast a garish glare on my face.
I walk on.
Tears blur my eyes.
I hear the honking of numerous vehicles rushing by.
Nameless faces, blank stares, lifeless forms which move.
Night falls. Shadows. Dark silhouettes. Strange leers.
I am alone.
I am being sucked into a vortex.
Where am I?
Where is the life I knew?
Where is the warm sunlight and the twittering of birds?
Where is the joy, the anticipation with which I welcomed each day?
Where are the fresh, bright mornings?
The noisy albeit concerned neighbours?
The reviving meals and laughter shared amidst kith and kin?
The heartwarming prayers and wishes at every gathering?
Where is fulfilling leisure?
Where have I reached? Where am I?
I can’t even watch a sunset or muse over the moon.
I hardly find time to scribble a note or enjoy a poem.
I can’t even feel the breeze through my hair or hear the pitter patter of rain.
All I feel is hollowness and weariness.
All I feel are tear drops running a marathon on my face.
Is this what I asked for, God?
Is this what You willed for me?
Time seems breathless.
And memories hung in space.
I am just a mortal, God.
I can’t bear more than what I can.
Don’t test me unbearably. I can’t stand it.
See how weak I am, how frail….
I am mere dust; I need your strength and power.
I know if I live in you I live.
Otherwise, God, Oh how hard it is for me!
To survive.
When I am on the verge of tears, I have to smile.
When I am about to fall apart, I have to put on a brave front.
I can’t go on like this.
Help me, God.
Lest I lose my sanity.
Help me, I pray, help me.