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Friday, July 2, 2010


Lies, deception, politics, lechery, debasement, ego, perversion, hypocrisy, vulgarity.
Free flowing liquor, ideals gone up in hazy cigarette smoke, dingy bars and shady pubs, loud raucous laughter and leers.
Curses and cuss words.
Welcome to my present world.
People whom you look up to fail you.
People whom you trust let you down.
People whom you love don’t care.
Is this even ‘my’ world?
I am alienated from myself.
I no longer am myself.
I am being drawn into a world I had only heard of.
And the scary part is I am getting attracted to it.
What the hell is happening?
It is as if a sheet of virgin paper is being blotted.
No, I am not glorifying myself.
But a world where ideals are considered trash
And principles are scoffed at
Where morality is considered old fashioned?
NO, I protest.
I don’t belong here.
I loathe this world and I loathe myself.
I loathe what I am becoming.
I loathe what I have become.
I try to clutch onto the last remnant of hope.
I gasp for a breath of fresh air.
No relief.
I need to save myself.
I need to tear away.
I need to go away somewhere.
Some place where I can be sane.
Some place where I am unburdened
By the struggle to keep myself afloat
On the raging waters, swirling, forming an eddy
Around me, trying to drown me.
I must breathe.
I feel hot, pulsating heat
I hear harsh breathing
I hear voices, mocking, insulting.
I see smirks and twisted smiles
Winking eyes and deceptive gestures.
I cry out loud.
They surround me.
They are closing in.
I tremble.
My legs are jelly, my heart thumps
My voice is a whimper.
Someone help me!
GOD! Are you there?
Rescue me!
Before I turn insane!
Before my brains burst.
Before I sell my soul to the Devil.

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