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Friday, September 9, 2011


God has been gracious.
They say repeating mistakes is a crime.
I have committed many and I have repeated them, too.
But through all my trials and tribulations, through all my guilt and self- hatred and brokenness, God has been there.
He has nurtured me as a Father would a petulant child.
And I am grateful to the Almighty that he has forgiven and forgotten my past, wiped clean the slate and presented me a pristine new sheet of paper to write my life on.
It was hard going.
When morals clashed, when madness reigned, when passions surged.
It was tough.
When guilt robbed me of inner peace, when my cherished morals were shattered, when my ideals came crashing down.
I have had my fair share of inner demons torturing me.
I have not been immune to gossip, self-condemnation and a burning resentment against God and all mankind.
I have asked the question “why?” a thousand times.
“Why me, God?” I have wailed in despair and shed copious tears.
But then I realized that you learn.
The elements can transform the crudest piece of rock into a glittering diamond.
I can’t say I have attained my ultimate form.
But I have changed, yes.
And all the bitterness, rage and heartbreaks I went through have made me a stronger person who can now comfort others going through similar predicaments.
Maybe God meant it that way.
After all, He is the Great Teacher.
And when a teacher or a parent reproves his student or child, the latter always gains.
It may take ages for him to realize the good that the cane has done him but when he does, there is nothing but gratitude.
Now that, I have been given a new lease of life, I can’t afford to commit a crime.
I can’t afford to repeat my mistakes.
Though even if I do, but return with a contrite heart, my Father remains ever welcoming with open arms.
Bertrand Russell, the famous atheist, once said: “Unless you assume a God, the question of life’s purpose is meaningless.”
What is there to life if there isn’t an “ever after?”
Isn’t everything then futile? All life’s toils and troubles?
But we carry on because we have a sense of the eternal in us.
This life is just a preparation for what comes next.
The Nazi camp survivors confirmed this. Those who survived the worst, most inhumane conditions in concentration camps had a hope that fueled their desire to live and they did not give up.
That hope was God.
As one of them, Corrie ten Boom, said: “If you look at the world you will be distressed, if you look within you will be depressed. But if you look at Christ, you will be at rest!”

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